Monday, May 7, 2007

Spider-Man 3

Ok, to get it right out of the way: Spider-Man 3 kind of rocks and kind of sucks a sack of balls at the same time. Not having read the comics, my main source of Spidey knowledge comes from the old Saturday morning cartoon, so my qualms do not stem from "omg they didn't do that in the comix, fuck sam raimi omg!" Instead, I look at this movie as a film, and as such, it's a fun movie with a whole lot of sloppiness and frayed edges. The main problem I have is that the writing gets cluttered with silly, easy attempts at wide audience laughter and unnecessary not-so-comedic interludes. How many singing and dancing numbers does there have to be, seriously?

Oh, and I'll be giving shit away, so fee free to stop reading any time.

The film has a lot of really good ideas, and given another script rewrite or two, they could have been handled more elegantly and seamlessly into the story. For one, I love the idea of an "evil" Spider-Man. When the symbiote merged to Spidey, all I could think was "Fuck yeah! Now, we're talking!" Ultimately, however, the potential is ruined when Peter Parker just turns emo and is kind of a dick to everyone for about 25 minutes. As he becomes more and more "affected" (yes, only just affected) by the symbiote, Parker unintentionally strikes MJ in a fit emo rage. While this scene could have been a powerful lesson to Peter, it is incredibly dwarfed and its steam is stolen due to a five minute Tobey Maguire fucking dance-a-thon 30 seconds prior. I want a true moral dilemma here, not a pretty boy character strutting through Manhattan winking at all the hot extras they hired. Come on Raimi, show me some regret, show me internal conflict! Sigh.

Anyway, much of the plot (and this is a very plotty film, for how much they try jam pack in there) is devoted to the deterioration of Peter and MJ's relationship due to Spider-Man's increasing ego and unrelenting lack of support. The other two films focused on this relationship a lot too, but it was far more balanced the first two times around. I get it: shit's not working out and all the guy characters are douchebags for more than 3/4 of the movie. Oh and by the way, Kirsten Dunst is fifty pounds and a shaved head short of being a dead ringer for Billy Corgan (can't take credit for that one, but I couldn't resist).

Along with the MJ/PP relationship, a lot of the narrative driving plot points are just ridiculous. Harry getting amnesia for the first half of the movie? Jesus Christ. The worst comes near the end when a very peripheral shell of a character determines the ultimate decision of Harry by explaining his thorough and entirely "medical" knowledge of Green Goblin hovercraft spike wounds. Give me a fucking break.

Visually, the film is great. This CGI-fest trumps the first two outings, as is to be expected, and Venom's scenes are top fucking notch (albeit brief). I didn't even mind Topher Grace. That being said, I enjoyed the side characters more than the actual main players. Jameson added the real comic relief for me, and Bruce Campbell's cameo probably marks the most enjoyable moment in the film for me. With all the whining and crying that goes on, it gets pretty tedious, especially near the end. And it's not a bad end to this trilogy, but compared to the other two (along with all the problems inherent in those movies as well), this one falls short. Enjoyable? Yes. Memorable? Not so much.

7 out of 10

3 comments:

Unknown said...

I agree with you whole heartedly the dynamic between Peter and Mary Jane is awful in this movie. MJ comes off as immature whore after leaving Peter and with in a few hours making out with Harry. Also they should have concentrated on one villain, The Sandman was great and the casting was perfect but everyone wanted to see Venom and Spidey battle it out.

Matt said...

apologies to the e doctor, this is of course his post, not mine...i think this is fixed now

Anonymous said...

trilogy?
i thought they were making 6
(with or without that kid from the opening scene of fear and loathing in las vegas)

needed more venom.

the emo-kid shit just pissed me off.